Road rage involves behaviors like obscene or provocative gestures, yelling, cursing and tailgating. It can also involve stopping of a car and walking up to yell or rant at another driver. In some cases, physical violence is involved, which is something you definitely want to avoid happening, so this article is targeted at the first set of behaviors and keeping yourself calm, to avoid escalating into physical contact or being followed by the road rage driver or victim.
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1
Consider why the other person is showing signs of road rage toward you, such as giving you the finger. Are you cutting them off, speeding up when they need to get over, or going too slowly in the faster lane? If it's not your driving, maybe you have a bumper sticker that has caused them to react badly? Obviously, there are plenty of other reasons for another person's road rage antics but if you're somehow contributing, it's good to know so that you can try to change the behavior that might be provoking it.
2
Conceive of the person in road rage as being human. Just like you, this person commutes. Just like you, this person has a range of experiences throughout the day. Like you, this person hates traffic jams, snarls and breathing in car fumes. And just like you, this person isn't always perfect. However, perhaps unlike you, this person may have had some over-the-top experiences that have lead them to misbehave on the road at this time. For some, for some drivers the road brings out their most primitive urges and causes them to see driving as a form of competition or power play, in which they need to prove to others that they're in control and that you're simply in their way or not playing by their rules. This doesn't excuse their behavior by any means but it does help you to realize that this person's thinking processes are probably really screwed up. Which is all the more reason for you to remain as calm as possible so that you respond clearly and continue to see their humanness. Most reasons that might have caused this person to misbehave on the road can involve an element of irrationality or righteousness which you need to be careful not to give further justification to. Reasons may include:
- Fatigue
- Having had a bad day
- Drugs or alcohol
- Co-travelers bothering them or egging them on
- Anger at life in general
- Fears or anxiety about driving or being in traffic
- An urgent need to get somewhere.
3 Slow down, move over, and allow them to pass. Most people who are angry are in a hurry to get somewhere (even if it's not important, it seems so to them), and convince themselves that you're getting in their way. Make your goal to avoid any contact - the farther and faster they leave you in the dust, the better. If necessary, change your route to avoid further contact. You'll be more calm when you get to your destination.
4
Use humor to deflect the rage. When someone gives you the finger, and you want to remain calm, pretend that they are telling you that you're number one. Or just laugh off their obscene gestures or yelling. Think of them as a goldfish stuck in a tank, mouthing away.
5
Focus on when you're out of the traffic and away from this upsetting behavior. Think about what you're going to do when you get home. A relaxing bath, crawling into bed, reading, etc. Think about your children, your family or your friends and spending time with them shortly.
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